Expectations

March 30, 2018

Expectations…

 

Expectations, everyone has them, right?

 

What do you expect to read in a blog about expectations? The moment you open an article, or this blog you do so with subconscious expectations about the topic.

You expect it to offer you some insights or you are interested in this theme. You like what this person writes every time so you are instantly curious about this new text or something like that.

Are expectations always the same? No, of course they differ a lot. Everyone has different expectations and those expectations differ when the topic is something else altogether.  Expectations can be about something like a product of something you plan to be doing.

And of course, there are expectations we have about ourselves and others.

Do you meet up to your own expectations?

Is this getting too philosophical? Because I think it is very interesting.

 

It is as if a lot is expected of us in this world. We make up our own expectations.

Sometimes we do that subconsciously and sometimes on purpose. Are those expectations from within yourself or do you sometimes feel the pressure about those expectations from the outside world? A world that believes something just has to be and doesn’t need to be questioned. I’ll offer you a simple example. I am slowly entering the world of the 30-year-olds. I still have three years to go, but it does sound like something scary, entering that group of 30-years-olds. Getting to 30 is something hilarious in our culture, accompanied by funny messages and cards or an extra big party. So it seems definitely a special occasion.

 

A lot of my friends have just turned 30 or are close to getting 30 as well. What do you hear? ‘Wow, I’m getting old and look, I don’t even have my own house. I don’t have any children, I don’t have a steady relationship’. Apparently it applies some pressure and we maintain a certain standard in life in which we feel the need to meet, because that is how it’s done in our lives.  

Sometimes I might just ask someone: ‘Why? Do you really think live has to be this way?’

I don’t always get a true answer, but it seems pretty obvious: it is in the line of expectations, an expectation that isn’t written down, but is created by yourself and might or might not be influenced by your surroundings.

Apparently people are expecting you to have lost your wild ways, to be settled down, have your own home and have children, all of this just before turning 30 or around the year you turn 30. This is how it’s always has been and this is how it’ll always be and that’s how we look at it. Which is actually absurd, don’t you agree? What if all of the above don’t make you comfortable at all? What if you have a different view on how life ought to be?

 

I find it interesting to see how we’re setting our goals. Moving in together is something you only do after being together for a few years? As soon as you know that you fit together.

I think that’s nonsense. We should be able to trust our own instincts more, follow our gut feeling. Things can really be different.

Because when you are living together for a while you can get married and eventually have children. Please understand that I love it when life develops like this and the expectations are all met. I hope anyone that wants all this in life will have it. And I hope that you have it because you really want to and are not pushed into this, a life that is not expected of you.

In that case it’s the expectations that run our life.

You choose whether you want to create and shape your life in a certain way, also because you know it is not the only possible way. There are so many more options and possibilities and ways of living. Maybe I’m mistaking and not everyone shares my opinion about the possibilities of change, but still, it’s is true.

Let’s just keep those expectations for what they are and not expect others to fulfil all of them. Don’t you think everyone would be able to live a much nicer and more relaxing life? Being able to enjoy more because you live by your instincts and feelings and especially your own decisions and that way creating your own unique existence.

I know this could encounter some negative emotions because it looks like I’m speaking ill of a way of life that’s led by so many. That is by no means what I’m trying to do. I just want to say that I belief in following your own intuition, your own instincts and gut feeling. I hope everyone feels free to choose whichever way. You don’t have to feel imprisoned in the net of expectations,  but feel able to swim out into a sea of possibilities.

 

Do you ever ask yourself if you go your own way? Or do you take the created path of expectations? In your private life, but in your professional life as well. Because it is an important matter in your professional life too. It is so easy to just do as the company expects of you and follow their lead, take the path best known to everyone. And not just in the way you do your job, but also in your career choices.

Are you able to question yourself about this?

Are you doing what you want?

Do you really know what you want?

What if you just sit down, relax and think about it, what is it you expect from yourself?

When are you satisfied with who you are and what you are doing?

 

Of course I wonder regularly about my own expectations. It is easy to set short term expectations, like today I’ll do something or not. But long term? Is it truly necessary?

It has to do with you as a person, but it is interesting to wonder what it is you really expect from yourself. And maybe even about the limits you put on yourself as well.

Get out of the short term problems and the close encounters, open up and take a wider and bigger view. Check your self by asking yourself an important question. Sit down for this one… “What are my own expectations?”

To me it is about this:

‘I expect myself to follow my own ideas and take my own path in life.’

You know, I also wanted to add; I expect to be happy with those expectations. Absurd, I read the sentence several times and kept wondering why I added that it would make me happy?

 

I think it is more important to just be happy with these expectations, just be happy with what I’m asking of myself.

I took some time, put away the computer and sat down to think about what I really meant and why I had written it down.

It is something you hear more often, I want to be happy. Or someone says; yes, when I’ve reached something; that will make me happy.

I don’t think we are able to be happy at any given moment or even should be happy.

I think it is more important to focus on feeling happy now instead of aiming for it with a future goal.

What is happiness really? When do you really feel happy?

I think happiness is just a moment in life. Sometimes I am really happy and sometimes I’m really sad. And to get back to the contrasts in life, as black stands to white, that is how happiness contradicts sadness, to me anyway.

Let me be sad so that later on I can realise how happy I can be. I don’t know how to do it otherwise, feeling one thing and not the other.

 

The most important thing to me is following my own path and creating my own ideas.

That is what I want and what I choose in life, without knowing exactly what it brings me.

This is what I ask of myself, will I undertake this or not and what will throw me off my path. It is actually like a sort of compass. Like a compass without a goal, but with a direction. I can use this to test myself. The compass that allows me to be close to myself and which makes me feel really good.

The compass of expectations fits me as a traveller, not being occupied by the destination, but wondering about the journey.

 

What is it like for you? When you peel down, what is it you expect yourself to do or be? What is your compass? Are you a traveller as well? Or something else? I would like to know, because I will be able to learn from your images and experiences. 

 

 

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